Skip to main content

Excuse Me, Excuse Me...What's my Motivation?



Motivated Monday provides the opportunity for all of us to pat ourselves on the back for fighting the good fight. Whether your motivation comes from your students, yourself, your family, your friends, or a combination of all, we all need motivation to continue doing what we are doing. Even if that motivation is simply to get out of bed in the morning, that is still a motivation. I would argue an incredibly important one at that.

What's my motivation? The question burns my soul with every endeavor I undertake. If I choose to pursue an activity, I want to make certain I do so in earnest. Like most educators, I try to put my heart and soul into everything I do. If I can't do that, then why bother? If my intentions aren't pure, I don't want to put that energy into the universe. 

That type of dedication though means that somewhere something suffers. My hope is that the suffering does not affect my relationship with my family and friends. For me, these people are my motivation. They are my world. While saying this feels overly dramatic, I also know that I have done things for these people that I couldn't imagine doing for anyone else. My loves, my life. 

So what I choose to do has to be able to include them, or it isn't worth doing. When I was younger, I fear I sacrificed relationships in pursuit of my goals. The turmoil the travel cost me did not matter because I believed that I was in pursuit of something greater than myself. I wanted more for them. I wanted more for my family. I wanted more for my friends. The problem comes with the word more because it begs the question more than what. 

I started this post because I wanted to say, "This morning, I woke up, went to the gym, and walked nearly five miles."

I wanted to say, "I have nearly every single syllabus ready to roll out on the first day of school. Plus of the six classes I teach, five of them have their first semester planned." 

I wanted to say, "My Google Classroom has been set up with posts in each to boot, and we don't start school for at least another two weeks."

On top of what I have done for school, I have also worked on this blog.

Yes, I have done all of these things today. I also came to the realization that I am a workaholic to the umpteenth degree. I do not allow myself to let up. For fear of what, I do not know. Ironically as I typed that last line, Freddie Mercury and David Bowie croon Under Pressure. 

You see, I put the blog aside for the summer. Just for a bit. Then I realized that I missed it. I realized that I love doing this. I feel like Doogie Howser summing up what happened in some medical emergency and how that medical emergency ties into my life.

In the past, I spoke openly about my perfectionist tendencies. I am ambitious, at times to a fault. I commuted to Chicago for six months to take classes with Second City, Piven Theatre Workshop, and Chicago Dramatists respectively. I lived in the Republic of Ireland for three months to learn about the education system in another country. Some people call it passionate. Others call it determined. I call it flawed. I call it tense.

I also call it exhilarating. I call it joy. I call it life. Ultimately, I recognized that all of that passion, drive, and determination belonged to the people who matter the most to me. Each decision I made in my life came as a direct result of them. They are my motivation. I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I agree wholeheartedly with Stephen Tyler when he sings, "Life's a journey, not a destination."

How could I not? My life is the journey. My travelling companions are my loved ones. Our journey together remains my motivation. Don't stop me now. I can't wait to see where the road takes us. I love you all with my whole heart. What about you? What's your motivation?



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Thursday Thrive

Omni Grove Park Inn Asheville, North Carolina Wednesday-3/29/2019 I crest over the mountains of Tennessee. My hands start shaking. My mouth becomes dry. The knuckles on my fingers, white from their grip on the steering wheel, beg to be let loose. I can't. At least, not yet. Welcome to the Thursday Thrive. Each week, I invite my readers to share examples of moments in their lives when they feel themselves thriving, not just surviving. As educators, being overwhelmed feels like part of the job description. When one item moves from our to-do list, two more pop up. You can choose your own definition of thrive . You can use examples from your personal life or your professional life. However you want to approach thriving is up to you. The Journey Begins For this first Thriving Thursday post, I wanted to share about my Spring Break triumph to Asheville, North Carolina. As a child, I watched my mother shout her fear of the mountains. Intensely terrified of them, she wou...
4 comments
Read more

About this Blog

What is the purpose of this blog? Excellent question. Let me tell you. I began my career as an educator when I was 19. I taught students in middle school, most of whom were only about 5 years younger than I at the time. I was so shy that I didn't speak in my classroom for over a month. I literally hung back and watched the lead teacher. At times, I sit baffled at the journey that brought me to this destination, specifically this blog. I am a person who needs to move. I teach high school partly because being in one classroom all day would be a nightmare for me. I commute roughly 40 minutes both ways (that would be 80 minutes) because the drive allows me time to decompress. As an undergraduate, I learned that I need a commute. Without the commute, I struggle being pleasant when I arrive home. The only regret I have about the commute-less time with the Dynamic Duo-Jax and Gray. Through the years, I learned what I need to do in order to be able to function in a world th...
2 comments
Read more

Crushing It

Here's to another Thursday Thrive. On the Thursday Thrive, we reflect on the past week and examine how we crushed it. No matter how big or how small, any thrive-we'll take them all. If we don't pat ourselves on the back, how can we expect others to? For this Thursday Thrive entry, I want to talk about an organization that is near and dear to my heart. My sister started Shoot for the Stars nearly three decades ago. The organization provides the opportunity for individuals with special needs to participate in extracurricular activities. You see, my mom used to work as a teacher's assistant for students with special needs. My sister and I grew up around her students. We volunteered in her class. At times, she brought her students home with her, and we babysat them. Her students were her children, not as much as my sister and me but pretty close. In our early twenties, my sister decided to coach a softball team. I helped. The girls ranged in age from 13-17 years o...
Post a Comment
Read more